Double Date
by HelloElmoreHelpDesk
Summary: When Gumball and Darwin win four tickets to a movie, they think that going on a double date with their girlfriends would be a great idea. Unfortunately, since nothing ever goes as planned in their lives, Carrie and Penny end up getting into a pretty bad fight. Things worsen from there.


Gumball, Darwin, Anais, and Nicole watched from their table as Richard dictated his order to an increasingly concerned-looking Larry.

"Are you sure it's safe to let him order for himself?" Anais asked as Larry started putting bag after bag of fast food on the counter.

"He comes to Joyful Burger all the time," Gumball said. "I doubt his ten-thousandth order is going to make much difference."

"Gumball, this isn't his _ten thousandth_ order," Nicole said. "Sure, he can get a little carried away when it comes to food, but that's just ridiculous."

"Hey guys! You won't believe what I won!" Richard announced, returning to their table and dumping an armful of food in the middle.

"How'd you win something by ordering fast food?" Darwin asked.

"They're rewarding me for my loyal patronage as a Joyful Burger customer," he said proudly. "Man, if I had know they gave out prizes for your ten thousandth order, I would've come here a lot more often!"

Gumball looked smugly at his mother, who frowned and crossed her arms.

"So," Darwin said excitedly, "what did you win?"

"An _envelope!"_ Richard declared, tossing a small white envelope onto the table and looking very proud of himself.

Anais sighed. "I'm pretty sure the prize is _inside_ the envelope, Dad."

Richard just looked at her in confusion. Gumball grabbed the envelope and opened it, pulling out four slips of paper. "Oh my gosh! We got tickets to go see Horror Cabin 2: The Horror!"

"Well that's a redundant title," Nicole muttered.

"Really!?" Darwin leaned over his brother's shoulder. "That's awesome! Horror Cabin was so good!"

"I know, right? I can't wait to see it!" Gumball looked back down at the tickets. "Oh, but we only have four. Someone would have to stay home."

"That's fine!" Richard said, looking a bit nervous. "I'm… busy, that day."

Gumball looked at him flatly. "You're scared, aren't you?"

Richard nodded.

"Can I see?" Nicole asked, reaching over and taking one of the tickets. "Hmm. Well, I can't go either, I have work."

"I can go!" Anais said happily.

"Absolutely not!" Nicole said. "You are far too young to go see a horror movie!"

Anais frowned, indignant. "What? But Mom! I can handle it!"

Nicole crossed her arms and gave Anais the Mom Look. "You convinced me that you could handle that one movie about the swamp monster, too, but you had nightmares for weeks. The answer is no."

Anais pouted, but didn't press the issue.

"Then what should we do with the other tickets?" Darwin asked. "We can't just waste them!"

"Especially not after all the trouble I went through to earn them!" Richard said.

"And all the paychecks," Nicole said icily, before turning to Gumball and Darwin. "Well, boys, don't you have friends you can invite along?"

"I dunno," Gumball said. "The only person from school I've ever gone to see a movie with is Penny, but that could be a bit awkward with Darwin there."

"What about Carrie? She loves horror movies!" Darwin suggested. "Oh, wait. Same problem. Hmm…"

"I've got it!" Gumball said suddenly, pounding his fist into his palm. "If we invite both of them, then the awkwardness with cancel out!"

"You mean like a double date?" Anais said. "Aren't those, like, the epitome of awkwardness?"

"If they were that bad, why would society have a special name for it?" Gumball asked.

"Exactly," Darwin said with a confident nod of his head. "It's even alliterative! You can't go wrong with alliteration."

"Then it's settled! We can call them when we get home."

* * *

As soon as the car pulled up in front of their house, Gumball and Darwin burst out, running up to their room. Immediately, Gumball pulled out his cell phone to call Penny.

" _Hello?."_

"Hey Penny!"

" _Oh, hi, Gumball! How are you?"_

"I'm good! Hey, so, our family won a bunch of tickets to go see a movie, but only me and Darwin can go, so we thought we'd invite you and Carrie and make it, like, a double date."

" _A double date? That sounds like a great idea, Gumball! What movie is it?"_

"Horror Cabin 2: The Horror!"

" _O-oh, it's a scary movie?"_

"Yeah, is that cool?"

" _Pfffff, yeah, totally! I love scary movies! They're so… scary!"_

"Okay, great! See you then!"

" _Yeah, see you then…"_

Gumball hung up.

"So?" Darwin asked, leaning in.

"She's totally up for it," Gumball said confidently.

"Sweet! My turn." Darwin dialed Carrie's number and waited.

" _Hello?"_

"Hey Carrie, it's Darwin!"

" _Oh, hey. What's up?"_

"Well, so me and Gumball got some extra tickets to Horror Cabin 2, and—"

" _Oh my god, really!? Sweet! I've so been looking forward to that movie."_

"Great! So you wanna come then?"

" _Totally! Oh, but you said Gumball would be there, right? Is he cool with… you know…"_

"You kind of interrupted me before I could tell you, but yeah, he and Penny and are coming too. It's like a double date situation. Is that alright with you?"

" _Oh. Um, yeah, that's cool. I'm looking forward to it!"_

"So am I. Bye!"

" _See ya."_

The line clicked dead, and Darwin put down the phone. "Carrie's free too!"

"Awesome! This is gonna be great!"

* * *

The day of the movie, Gumball and Darwin were running a few minutes late, due to a poorly placed skateboard, a hazardous open manhole, and Darwin's admiration of a cloud in the perfect shape of a unicorn. As such, when they arrived, Carrie and Penny were already waiting for them outside the doors. They were leaned up against the wall, somewhat bored, looking out into the street.

Penny was the first to notice them. She turned, smiling. "Hey, Gumball! Darwin!" she called.

"Hey Penny," Gumball greeted as he and Darwin walked up to them. "I hope we didn't keep you two waiting long."

"Oh, don't worry about it," Penny said. "Carrie and I were just…" she looked over at the other girl.

"Y'know," Carrie said, moving her arm in vague motions. "Standing here."

Gumball exchanged a glance with Darwin. "Right. Well, uh, we should probably get going. Don't wanna miss the previews."

"Yeah!" Darwin exclaimed. "They're the best part!"

"How? Don't you think they're boring?" Carrie asked as the four of them entered the movie theatre.

"Well, it's like how people like to watch the commercials during the superbowl and stuff," Gumball explained. "I think it's how people cope with the constant consumerist culture that surrounds us. Or something."

"I never got that either," Carrie said. "The super bowl thing, not the consumerism thing. Probably because I don't like football, so I don't really see a point in watching it."

"Well, I don't really like football either," Penny said, "but you've gotta admit, sometimes it can be fun to sit down and watch it with your fam—"

Gumball and Darwin inhaled sharply, and Penny looked to them, looked to Carrie, and her smile strained.

"—ily," she finished lamely, awkwardly looking at Carrie. "Which is something you can look forward to doing with your father in the future now that you're no longer effectively an orphan!"

Gumball and Darwin grimaced, violently shaking their heads at Penny in a very clear _stop talking_ motion.

Carrie, for her part, just stared at Penny for a few seconds, an unamused expression plastered on her face. "Can we just get on with the movie please?"

"Ha-HA! Excellent suggestion Carrie, let's get right to it, shall we? Woo, movie!" Gumball exclaimed, dragging Darwin and Penny into the theater as Carrie rolled her eyes and floated along after them.

Gumball led the group into the first row of four empty seats he could find, just in time for the previews. Penny sat next to him, and then Darwin on her other side, with Carrie taking the seat on the far edge.

The movie was just as good as Gumball had anticipated: he found himself shaking with anticipation within the opening few minutes. The first Horror Cabin had been notorious for its jumpscares, and its sequel certainly followed through on that end, with the first one happening fairly early on and with no warning.

"Gah!" Gumball exclaimed, jumping back in his seat. Next to him, Penny made a small 'Eep!' sound, reaching out to grab Gumball. Even Carrie flinched back—of course, she immediately followed it up with a short, thrilled laugh.

"Hey, this isn't half bad," she said, turning to Darwin, who had pressed the back half of his body fully into the seat cushion. He nodded, stone-faced.

Later, as the movie approached the climax, Penny was clinging to Gumball and shaking so much he felt like he was strapped to a washing machine on a heavy-duty spin cycle. Leaning into her, he whispered, "Are you okay?"

Penny's wide eyes flicked to him and then back to the screen. "Y-yeah. I'm just a bit on edge. I don't exactly watch a lot of—AAAAAAH!"

Penny was violently interrupted by the monster barreling through a wall, crashing down on top of one of the cabin-goers and screaming its heart out. Its segmented face split apart with a wretched hissing sound, and it's tongue lashed out, forked and discolored. Long story short, it was enough to kill an unsuspecting old man with heart problems, and was certainly enough to cause an unsuspecting Penny to instinctually shapeshift into her mouse form out of fright. With an undignified squeal, she leapt into Gumball's lap, shivering.

Just then, Carrie's head poked out through Darwin's body, laughing. "Oh, wow, Penny! That really got you good!"

"Shut up, it's not funny!" Penny squeaked. "This movie's just really scary!"

"Hehe, wanna see something that's scary for _real?"_ Carrie asked, a glint in her eye.

Darwin crossed his fins disapprovingly. "Carrie, I don't think—mmph!"

Before he could finish, Carrie flew into his mouth, making his head spin around in circles. His jaw unhinged, and he began to hiss through a set of pointed, demonic teeth.

"Ugh, ew!" Gumball said, throwing his hands in front of his eyes. When he looked back, Penny was cowering between his leg and the seat's armrest, her tiny paws over her head.

Carrie reemerged from Darwin's body, holding her stomach in laughter. Darwin, after getting reorientated, looked quite cross, but before he could say anything, the lady sitting in front of them turned around.

"Do you kids _mind?!"_ she spat, scowling.

"Sorry ma'am," Gumball said quickly, smiling far too widely. A few seconds later, Penny jumped back over to her own seat and reverted to her true form, giving a glare at Carrie. The ghost, however, had already turned back to the screen.

They watched the rest of the movie in silence.

* * *

The mood was tense coming out of the theater, to say the least.

"Heheh… Good movie, right?" Gumball said awkwardly.

"Carrie, how could you do something like that! You saw how scared I was!" Penny complained, glaring at the other girl.

"Geez, sorry," Carrie said, not looking particularly sorry. "I didn't think you'd take it so personal. I mean, horror movies are all about getting scared. Plus, you've gotta admit, it was pretty funny."

"It wasn't funny, it was mean!"

Gumball coughed. "Hate to break it to you, Penny, but it was a little bit funny."

Penny put her hands on her hips. "Gumball!"

He shrugged. "Hey, I'm not gonna lie."

"See?" Carrie said. "Look, I really didn't think you'd be this sensitive about it."

"Well—but—what about Darwin's privacy?" Penny blurted, starting to get a bit red in the face. "You totally hijacked his body without asking!"

"He's fine with me using his body for stuff! We do it all the time!"

"Er, I dunno, Carrie," Darwin said, rubbing the back of his head. "This felt a little… cruel?"

"Exactly!" Penny exclaimed.

"Well, I'm sorry I harmlessly scared someone who agreed to go out and see a horror movie with a ghost!"

Penny rolled her eyes. "And _I'm_ sorry that I assumed 'ghost' wouldn't be synonymous with 'freak' when, obviously, I was wrong!"

Gumball and Darwin's jaws dropped like lead, their eyes darting back and forth between the two girls; Penny immediately covered her mouth, and Carrie just stared, her normally controlled expression wide-eyed and open-mouthed.

Penny removed her hands and took a tentative step forward. "I—"

"Oh, so I guess now we get to see your second shell come off, Penny," Carrie said, her eyes narrowing. "Shame it isn't something pretty underneath this time."

Gumball and Darwin, still watching from the sidelines, flinched, watching Penny's reaction out of half-covered eyes. If Penny had fists, they would surely be clenched right now, as she was practically vibrating. Suddenly, her anger popped through as she shifted into her gorgon form, hissing at Carrie. Before she could say anything, though, Carrie blew her hair out of her face, gave a smug chuckle, and teleported away.

"That insensitive _jerk!_ " Penny growled, stomping her foot against the pavement, cracking it. "I'm going home." She turned and marched down the street, the snakes in her hair writhing and spitting.

"Well," said Gumball, once Penny was out of earshot, "I honestly can't think of a way that this could have realistically gone worse."

Darwin only nodded.

The next day, Gumball and Darwin were getting ready for class.

"I wonder if Penny and Carrie are doing okay," Darwin said as he closed his locker.

"Yeah." Gumball scratched the back of his head. "Maybe they just needed to sleep it off and everything's cool now?"

Darwin sighed. "Let's hope so."

They grabbed their books and started walking to Mr. Small's class. Turning the corner, they saw Penny drinking out of a water fountain, and Tobias walking up next to her.

"Hey there, Penny," he said. She looked up from the water fountain with a profoundly disinterested expression. "Good job keeping hydrated. You know, with all the exercising I do, I have to drink a lot of water. That's how I can end up with _these_ babies!"

Tobias attempted to flex, and Gumball could've sworn he heard a blood vessel pop.

"Tobias, I am not in the mood right now," Penny said through gritted teeth.

Tobias laughed. "Are you kidding? How can you not be in the mood for some of _this?"_ Tobias changed flexing positions, giving Penny a view of his backside and then looking over his shoulder seductively.

Penny's form writhed and grew into a dragon, a deep growl emanating from her throat. " _I AM NOT INTERESTED, YOU DISGUSTING LITTLE BALL OF MULTICOLORED LINT!"_ she roared, punctuating her sentence with a blast of fire that left Tobias black and charred. With a snort, Penny walked off, reverting back to her fairy form a few feet down the hallway.

"Wow, alright," Gumball said, watching as half of tobias crumpled into ash. "So she might still be a bit angry."

"Are you sure?" Darwin asked. "This is Tobias we're talking about."

"True, but it's also Penny. I mean, this definitely isn't much of an overreaction by normal standards, but Penny usually just roasts him figuratively, not literally."

Darwin hummed in agreement, then caught sight of the clock. "Oh crap! We can think more about this after class, we're gonna be late!"

Gumball scoffed. "To Mr. Small's class? Come on, man, nobody cares."

Darwin made an angry face.

"Ugh, whatever. Let's go."

* * *

Mr. Small's chalk scraped against the board as he talked. "…and the cumulative effects of these extra minerals over a lifetime are very profound!" he finished grandly, turning around to face the class again. "Um, excuse me, Carrie, but I'd have to ask you to please remove your headphones during class."

Carrie lifted them off one ear. "Why?"

Mr. Small looked at her confusedly. "…Because I'm giving a lecture right now, and it's important that you listen?"

"Mmhmm. Right. A lecture on the differences between name brand water bottles and Sparkling Mountain Mineral Non-GMO 0 Calorie water."

"Hey! It's very important to make health-smart, environmentally conscious choices these days!"

Carrie rolled her eyes. "Yeah, because buying different water is gonna stop global warming. This isn't even remotely related to the curriculum! I'm seriously starting to think the only reason you became a teacher is because nobody listens to you unless they're legally obligated."

"Oh, BURN!" yelled Joe from the back of class.

Mr. Small made an indignant scoffing sound. "Carrie! That was incredibly uncalled for! Go to Principal Brown's office right now and explain yourself to him!"

"Whatever," Carrie muttered, dropping her headphones and phasing through the wall into the hallway.

Once she was gone, and Mr. Small had started talking again, Gumball and Darwin turned to one another.

"This is bad!" Gumball whispered.

"I know," Darwin said. "If they're taking it out this badly on _other_ people, imagine what'll happen when they run into each other!"

"Aaah, what are we gonna do? They'll kill each other!"

Darwin pounded his fist into his palm in a decisive kind of way. "We have to keep them away from each other until we can think of a way to fix this!"

"Boys, do you have something to say?" Mr. Small asked, staring at the two of them.

"Oh, we were just discussing the nutritional benefits of Sparkling Mountain Mineral water! It's astounding, isn't it, Darwin!"

"Mmhmm!" Darwin agreed, nodding enthusiastically. "So many… sparkling minerals!"

"Oh!" Mr. Small smiled. "Well, I'd have to agree with you there, haha! Actually, many scientific studies I read about online state that…"

* * *

As soon as the bell rang for lunch, Darwin zoomed out of the classroom, a cloud of dust in his wake. He sped past Ms. Simian, causing her dress to blow upwards and permanently scar the school nurse, who happened to be walking behind her. Within seconds, he was in the lunchroom, tray in hand. He paused before Rocky for just enough time to receive his food, then immediately shoveled it all in his mouth. He almost choked for a few seconds, but recovered, running back out into the halls. He zipped by the nurse and Ms. Simian once again, the former making sure to cover her eyes this time, and finally ended up right outside Principal Brown's office, just as Carrie phased through the door, looking slightly more apathetic than usual.

"Hey Carrie! Wanna go to the library for lunch?"

Carrie turned. "Oh, hey, Darwin. Um… Don't you have to eat lunch though?"

"Nope, already did."

"You—really? How?"

"I wanted to spend some time with you, so I was fast."

Carrie looked at him skeptically. "And why can't we do that in the lunchroom like we normally do?"

"Well…" Darwin rocked back and forth on his feet. "I noticed you were acting a bit gloomy today, and thought you might appreciate a break from…" he waved his fin around vaguely. "Everyone. You know?"

"Oh." Carrie looked away, her cheeks reddening slightly. "That's pretty observant of you. I… think I'd like that, yeah."

Darwin smiled. "Great!"

* * *

Back in the cafeteria, Gumball didn't see any traces of either ghost nor fish. Satisfied that Darwin had accomplished his part of distracting Carrie, Gumball set out towards Penny, who was poking at her food at an empty table. He sighed; that wasn't a good sign. Penny could _always_ find people to sit with.

Cautiously, Gumball set his tray down across from her. Crossly, she looked up, but when she saw who it was, her expression softened.

She sighed. "Hey, Gumball."

"Hey Penny. Are you, um. Doing okay?"

"…Yeah. I'm just upset about the movie."

"Still?"

"Still?" Penny narrowed her eyes. "What's that supposed to mean? Do you think I'm overreacting?"

Gumball shrunk backwards. "Um. Maybe a little?"

"But—Carrie—ugh!" Penny squeezed her fists, nearly snapping her plastic fork. "She _saw_ how scared I was, and she laughed! I'm honestly surprised Darwin fell in love with someone so insensitive."

"Wow, um. Don't you think you're being just a bit too harsh on Carrie here?"

"Hmph." Penny crossed her arms. "Maybe, but I think we can both agree she _was_ being insensitive. And then she wouldn't even apologize for it!"

Gumball scratched the back of his head. "Not to, like… disagree… but didn't she literally apologize to you as soon as we left the theater?"

"Those weren't sincere at all! They were hollow at best, and patronizing at worst."

Gumball shrugged. "Yeah, can't argue with that."

"See? Exactly. You know, I'd be satisfied if she just sincerely apologized, but I don't think it's gonna happen."

"I'm sure if you give her a couple days to cool off, she'd apologize no problem," Gumball suggested.

Penny hummed in consideration for a few moments before looking off towards the cafeteria doors with stone-faced determination. "Nah, I want it now."

She got up and started walking out of the cafeteria. Gumball quickly got up to follow her. "H-hey! Where are you going?"

"To find Carrie, duh. She's probably with Darwin, right? Do you know where they ran off to?"

"Uuhhhh." Gumball was beginning to sweat. This was bad. "…Yes! I _definitely_ know where they are, and will lead you to them!"

Penny smiled. "Great! That makes things easier."

"Yep!" Gumball said, flashing double thumbs up and dying on the inside.

* * *

Darwin sat down next to Carrie in the library. Carrie let out a big breath and flopped down onto her back. Well, she was still floating, so not really on her back, but whatever.

"So…" Darwin looked at her. "Are you still mad about yesterday?"

"No."

"Oh, great! So you're cool with Penny then?"

"No."

"Oh. So—wait." Darwin wrinkled his brow. "I don't understand."

"Just because I'm not mad doesn't mean I'm all buddy-buddy with her," Carrie said. "I still don't really like her very much."

"What? Why not? She's super nice!"

"Really? Because if I remember correctly, she made a hurtful remark about my family situation and then called me a freak."

"Carrie, that's not entirely fair. You were a little bit mean to her in the theater."

"Okay, one, that was supposed to be a fun joke—How was I supposed to know that she'd take it so hard? Two, I apologized for it right after. And three, _she_ was the one to escalate the situation with the personal insult. I mean, I would never call her a freak, and she's a shapeshifting peanut fairy thing!"

Darwin sighed. "Well, you do have a point. But I think she was really hurt by what you did; if you were the bigger person and apologized again—"

"Look, Darwin, I know you just want us to make up, but it's not that simple. I'm not going to apologize to her for a third time just to satisfy whatever complex is making her think I'm in the wrong here. It's not my responsibility to be the 'bigger person' here; she just needs to be less of a baby, honestly."

Darwin bit his lip, tapping the tips of his fins together. "I—I guess…"

* * *

Gumball opened the door to a storage closet and laughed nervously. "Darn, looks like they're not here either!"

Penny put her hands on her hips. "You have no idea where they are, do you?"

Gumball sighed and hung his head.

"You know, Gumball, it's okay to admit you don't know things sometimes."

"Sorry…"

"It's fine. Let's go check out the library; I mean, it's practically the only place you haven't tried yet."

"Whaaaaat, really? I could've sworn we already went there," Gumball said, forcing a smile.

"No, we definitely haven't," Penny said. "Are you even trying to help me?"

"Yes! Yes, I am. To the library!"

As soon as Penny turned down the hall, Gumball whipped out his phone, quickly sending his brother a text.

* * *

Darwin's shoe buzzed, and he reached down for his cell phone. Gumball had just texted him:

 _Red alert! Red alert! Get out of there!_

Darwin gasped in alarm, causing Carrie to turn his way.

"Everything alright!"

"Carrie! We need to, um. Go to the, uh… bathroom?"

Carrie raised an eyebrow. "We?"

Darwin was beginning to sweat profusely. "No! I meant we need to, er, go to class!"

"Darwin, we still have, like, ten minutes of lunch."

Darwin laughed hollowly. "But it's always good to be early, right?"

"What's going on?"

"Nothing! Hey, why don't we—Ah!"

Darwin was interrupted by the library doors crashing open. He and Carrie turned to see Penny standing behind them, her leg extending in a kick, and her expression grave. Behind her, Gumball waved sheepishly.

"Hello, Carrie," Penny said, voice low, only for her to perk back up into a smile almost immediately. "Oh, and hi Darwin!"

Darwin pushed out a smile, waving awkwardly. "Heeeeeey…"

Carrie scoffed, blowing her hair out of her eyes. It fell right back down onto them. "What do you want?"

"I came here for an apology," Penny said, her expression shifting back to serious.

"Alright, let's hear it."

"What?" Penny's face morphed into half confusion, half indignation. "No! You're the one apologizing!"

"Oh my god, how many time do I have to say that I already apologized? Meanwhile, you never apologized for calling me a freak!"

"I was going to, but you cut me off to tell me that I was ugly inside!"

"Ugh, whatever. I still don't see why I need to apologize for a dumb prank I already apologized for."

"You _humiliated_ me in front of my _boyfriend!"_ Penny said, exasperated.

"Oh, god, don't tell me _that's_ what's got you so up in arms. Gumball humiliates himself in front of you every other week!"

"Hey, come on," Gumball interjected.

"But that's _Gumball!"_ Penny stressed, gesturing to him.

"Hey, come on!"

"Aw, it's what makes you so endearing, Gummy," Penny said quickly before turning back to Carrie. "I feel like you don't even care that you really hurt me!"

"Well, if I had _known_ something as small as scaring you a little would really hurt you, then I wouldn't have done it!"

"That's so insensitive!"

"Oh, maybe like how making comments about how I've been an orphan for twelve years is insensitive? Because it is!"

"That was a mistake and you know it!"

"Guys, guys!" Darwin said, stepping in between the two girls. "This is no way to treat each other! You should both be ashamed of yourselves!"

"She started it!" both of them cried, pointing at each other.

"I don't care who started it!" Darwin said, crossing his arms resolutely. "Now I think you two need some space."

Penny huffed, but turned around, walking out of the library.

Carrie rolled her eyes at Penny's back. "So dramatic." Then, with a pop, she teleported away.

Darwin sighed. "Aw, man, they'll never make up! What are we gonna do?"

"No need to despair, Darwin!" Gumball said. "All we need is a plan!"

After school, Gumball and Darwin were going door to door, attempting to recruit helpers for their genius plan that would totally work, one hundred percent.

Masami stared at them flatly across the door frame. "You want me to what?"

"We want you to pretend to be in love with both of us so that Penny and Carrie can bond over their jealousy of you!" Gumball explained lightheartedly.

"Yeah, I'm not doing that."

"Whaaat? Come on! We'll totally owe you one!"

Masami scoffed. "There is literally nothing you can give me that I don't have or can't buy."

Darwin shrugged. "That's fair. Thanks anyway!"

"Uh, yeah, sure," Masami said, slamming the door.

Gumball sighed. "Well, that was a bust."

"Who's next on the list?"

Gumball checked his phone. "Well, we already asked Teri, Tina, Molly, Clare, and Jamie, everybody knows that Carmen likes Alan, and Sussie is a hard no, so out of the girls that we know, that only leaves Sarah."

"Wait, why is she last?!" Darwin exclaimed. "She's literally already obsessed with us! She's the perfect candidate!"

"Well, why didn't you say so?! Come on!"

* * *

"You want me to do what?" Sarah asked.

"We want you to flirt with us to make our girlfriends bond over how much they despise you," Gumball explained.

"I thought you'd never ask!" Sarah squealed. "When do we start?"

* * *

The next day before class, Gumball and Penny were making small talk at their lockers when Sarah approached them. Smiling, Gumball greeted her.

"Hey, Sarah! How's it going?"

"Oh, hi Sarah!" Penny said.

Sarah smiled sultrily. "Oh, it's going _very_ well, my little pussycat."

Gumball smiled encouragingly. Behind him, Penny just looked confused.

"Say, you look kinda… _hot._ Maybe you could go for a bit of… ice cream?" Sarah winked.

"What's going on with you?" Penny wondered aloud.

Sarah leaned in, inches from Gumball's face, and whispered, plenty loud enough for Penny to hear, "That's right; _lick me."_

"Ha-HA, okay," Gumball said, taking a step back. He was beginning to regret asking Sarah to do this. "You have made your point very clear by now, thank you, um…"

"Sarah, what's gotten into you?" Penny asked, her disapproval ringing in her tone.

Sarah giggled, looking smugly at Penny. "Oh, nothing's gotten into me… _yet."_ With that last word, she slowly turned her head to Gumball, biting her bottom lip. "Isn't that right, Gumball?"

Gumball let out a high-pitched sound that was much more befitting of someone like Alan. When Alan was deflating. And in great pain. _This is not like I planned this is not like I planned this is not—_

"Oh, Sarah, you jokester," Penny said, laughing as she pushed past Gumball to stand between him and Sarah. Her eyes held a deadly intensity that clashed with her smile and overly-friendly tone. "What a _funny joke_ this is, hitting on my boyfriend in front of me like this! Ha, ha, ha, so funny, right? Ha."

Sarah smiled. "Oh, I wasn't jok—"

" _THEN BACK OFF!"_ Penny bellowed, shifting into her ogre form and pulling back one of her massive fists. Sarah screamed at the top of lungs, running off so fast she left a trail of half-melted ice cream on the floor behind her. Once she was gone, Penny reverted to her fairy shape, still looking quite cross. "Ugh, the nerve! Who does she think she is?"

Gumball was feeling a swirl of emotions right now, but he had to stick to the plan. "Y-yeah, she's been really bad recently."

"Recently?" Penny repeated, a new edge to her voice. "You mean this isn't the first time?"

Gumball shook his head. "Nah, she's been like this all week, basically. And she's been doing it to Darwin, too."

"Wha—Darwin too? But—but—oh, that's so wrong!"

"Tell me about it. It's… really uncomfortable."

"Gumball, you should've told me! I'm gonna put an end to this right now."

The bell rang.

"In an hour and a half," she corrected.

* * *

An hour and a half later, Penny was tailing her prey. Sarah had stopped by her locker, taken a drink at the water fountain, and was just now entering the girls' bathroom. Sensing her chance, Penny sneakily followed her inside. Just as Sarah was about to enter a stall, Penny jumped out, turning into her dragon form.

"SARAAAAAH!" she roared.

"AAH!" Sarah screamed, falling over onto her back. "Oh my god, Penny, holy cra—"

"SARAAAAAH!" Carrie roared, zapping into existence next to the two of them. She was holding a sledgehammer in her hands.

"AAAAAAH!"

Carrie snorted and bared her pointed teeth, but before she could raise her hammer, she noticed Penny. "Hey, what are you doing here?"

"Well, duh, I'm here to grievously injure, but be careful not to kill, Sarah, for making moves on my boyfriend," Penny explained.

"Huh, me too," Carrie said. "Well this is kinda awkward. Do you wanna go first, or…"

"Oh, um." Penny scratched the back of her neck with a claw. "Well, it would probably be more effective if we did it together, right?"

Carrie sighed. "I guess so. Well, let's get going then." She turned to Sarah and hefted her weapon.

"Woah! Wait wait wait!" Sarah said, frantically waving her arms. "Stop!"

"You want us to stop?" Penny said, leaning down. "Why should we?"

"Because—" Sarah's eyes darted around the room, from Penny's claws, to Carrie's teeth, to _Penny's_ teeth, to Carrie's hammer, to Penny's throat, which was filling with fire, to _holy crap I'm about to get melted—_

"Gumball and Darwin put me up to it!" she said quickly, closing her eyes and throwing up her hands.

When she dared to look, Penny was back in her usual form, and Carrie had lowered the hammer.

"What?" Carrie asked.

"Well, apparently, you two weren't getting along, so they wanted me to make you both jealous so you would work together to bring me down."

"And we're to believe you had _zero_ ulterior motives for agreeing to this?" Penny asked, unamused.

Sarah tapped her fingers together nervously. "Well, anyway, the plan worked, right? You guys set aside your differences and worked together to almost-but-not-quite kill me!"

Penny and Carrie turned to look at each other, then turned back around, crossing their arms.

"Hmmph! As if!" Carrie said.

"Yeah! We're still not friends," Penny stated. "Unless you… _apologize."_

Carrie teleported so she was now in front of Penny, giving her the evil eye. "Ha! Fat chance! If anybody's gonna apologize around here, it'll be you!"

"Wanna bet? I've gone _weeks_ without apologizing before, and I can do it again!"

"Oh yeah? Well I've gone _months!"_

"I've gone _years!"_

"I've _never_ apologized to _anyone_ in my entire _life!"_

" _You're not even alive!"_

Off on the sidelines, Sarah laughed nervously. "Welp, I'm gonna… go use the bathroom now…"

As the fighting continued, Sarah quietly slipped into a stall. From outside the bathroom, Gumball made an exasperated 'ugh' sound. "Darn it, it didn't work."

"We'll just have to…" Darwin narrowed his eyes. "Call in a favor."

* * *

The lights were dim in principal brown's office. Nigel's fur was dripping with sweat as he nervously adjusted his glasses. He looked across the desk at the Wattersons; they were sitting there, slouching casually in their chairs, looking at him. Gumball tapped a claw impatiently on his arm rest.

 _Tap, tap, tap._

Principal Brown averted his eyes. "I, uh… well…"

 _Tap, tap tap._

He looked back, and they were still looking at him. Gumball sighed, and lightly shook his head. Principal Brown tried to take a drink of coffee, but his hands were too sweaty, and the cup fell from his grip, spilling onto the floor.

"Ah… Oh… Oh no…" he mumbled under his breath, momentarily distracted. He looked up, and now Gumball was frowning at him, still shaking his head knowingly. Darwin had turned slightly to inspect his nails—he didn't even have nails! His eyes darted to the side after a few seconds to connect with Principal Brown's, and he rolled them, as a seasoned gladiator would to new meat.

"Okay, fine! I'll do what you want!" Principal Brown announced, slamming his hands onto the desk. "Just stop doing… whatever this is!"

"Great!" Darwin said happily, smiling cutely.

* * *

Carrie sighed as she shoved her books into her locker. She knew Darwin really wanted her to make peace with Penny, but she just couldn't see it happening, not with Penny's whole attitude about it. Well, and her attitude about it. At this point, it wasn't even about the double date anymore—it was about who would give in first. And if Penny thought it was gonna be her, then she clearly didn't know the petty depths to which Carrie was willing to sink.

"Excuse me, Miss Krueger?" said a voice from behind her.

She turned around to find herself face to face with Principal Brown. "Yeah?"

"Could you come see me in my office?"

"Oh, come on! I was literally just in there yesterday!"

"Yes, well, I need to speak with you."

She rolled her eyes. "Ugh, fine."

"Great! Follow me, then."

Mr. Brown walked back down the hall to his office, Carrie floating lazily behind him. When he opened the door, Carrie was shocked to see Penny already sitting in the office. When she saw Carrie, she immediately frowned.

"Whatever this is about, it's probably Carrie's fault," Penny said, pointing accusingly.

Carrie crossed her arms. "Really? That sounds an awful lot like something a _GUILTY PERSON_ would say!"

"Now, now, settle down," Mr. Brown said, taking a seat on the other side of the desk. "Neither of you is in trouble. In fact, I'm presenting you with a grand opportunity to give back to the school that gives so much to you!"

Carrie narrowed her eyes. "What."

Mr. Brown cleared his throat. "Well, you see, the school dance is coming up—"

"Isn't that in two months?" Penny asked.

"Never hurts to be prepared!" Principal Brown countered, laughing nervously. "So anyway, I needed some students to design the posters, and I immediately thought of you two!"

Penny raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Well, um, you see. It's, uh." Mr. Brown wiped his brow. "When I think of Elmore Junior High, I think of, uh, diversity, and excellence! And look at you two! Two students from completely different walks of life, and both so excellent!"

"How?" Carrie asked.

"I mean, isn't it obvious? Um." The principal looked between the two girls. "Well, Ms. Fitzgerald here is the… captain of the cheerleading squad, and, uh…" He squinted at Carrie. "And you're a stellar student!"

"I'm a B student," Carrie said.

"You're relatable!" Mr. Brown corrected hurriedly. "Look, my point is that your fellow students admire you, and you two possess"—he adjusted his glasses and leaned in over the desk—"such a close and nurturing _friendship."_

Penny and Carrie looked at each other, then back at Principal Brown.

"We really don't," Penny said.

"Nonsense, of course you do! You two just shared a meaningful glance, and if that isn't a sign of _true friendship_ then, frankly, I don't know what is."

"It was a completely meaningless glance!" Carrie refuted. "Somewhat unimportant at best."

Penny sighed. "Look, Principal Brown, Gumball and Darwin clearly put you up to this."

"Pfffff, what?" He laughed for a few seconds, smiling a bit too wide. "No they didn't. Why would I do what they say, anyway? Honestly, there's so many holes in your theory that I could fit my entire body through it without touching the edges."

"Can we leave now?" Carrie asked.

Mr. Brown sighed dejectedly, hanging his head. "Yes, you can. Let me write you a pass."

Penny searched around her locker in frustration. "Ugh, don't tell me I seriously left my binder at home… No, that can't be right. I _swear_ I had it this morning. So where—huh?"

A white folded-up letter was poking out of one of her textbooks. Frowning, she pulled it out and unfolded it.

 _Dear Penny,_

 _Looking for something?_

 _Hahahahahaha,_

 _Carrie_

"Uh! Who does she think she is?!" Penny turned to her right, where Carrie was holding a letter of her own in front of her locker a few feet away. "Hey! Who do you think you are?!"

Carrie turned, looking solidly unamused. "Give it back"

Penny looked at her confusedly. "What?"

Carrie held the piece of paper out in front of her and read it aloud. " 'Have fun trying to get through class without your pencil case, lololololol, Penny' "

"I didn't write that! _You_ wrote this letter about stealing my binder!"

"How? I don't have any pencils!"

"Well then who stole our stuff?"

They stared at each other for a few seconds, then groaned.

One of the lockers in between them had been left slightly ajar, and it now opened, revealing a very cramped Gumball.

" 'Twas I who stole your school supplies!" he announced, one side of his face bent upwards, flat against the side of the locker.

"Gumball, was all this really necessary?" Penny asked.

"Yeah, I thought you guys were trying to get us to make up, not pit us against each other," Carrie said, waving around the note.

Across the hall, a trash can burst open, revealing Darwin, who smiled and threw his hands in the air. "You shall bond over your feelings of betrayal!"

Carrie stared. "…Right."

Gumball rolled forward out of his locker, landing face first onto the ground. He quickly recovered. "Your possessions…" He paused dramatically, and then turned around and slammed shut the locker he had rolled out of. "Are in that locker!"

Penny was starting to look irritated. "Gumball…"

"I'm assuming you're not going to just open it, are you?" Carrie said with a sigh.

"Nope! Cleverly, I already forgot the combination!"

"WHAT?!" they shouted in unison

"But!" Gumball raised a finger. "I wrote it down! In order to figure out where, all you must do is solve the Watterson Brand Friendship-Inducing Scavenger Hunt!"

"You'll bond over the satisfaction of problem solving and the anxiety induced by the time-sensitive nature of the issue!" Darwin added happily.

Penny pinched the bridge of her nose, except she didn't actually have a nose, so it was more like just pinching the middle of her face. "Gumball…"

"Class starts in five minutes, and you expect us to go on a _scavenger hunt?!"_ Carrie did not look amused. "Ugh, you guys can be so _frustrating_ sometimes!"

"Take that frustration, Carrie, and channel into a beautiful, lifelong friendship," Darwin said, splaying his arms out in front of him.

"Welp, we're gonna go to class," Gumball said. "You two have fun!"

"Urrrrrrgh, I just want to squish his stupid fat head," Penny said as they boys walked away. "But in a loving, I-know-you-want-what's-best-for-me kind of way. And I want it to hurt!"

"How'd they even get into our lockers anyway? I mean, you didn't tell Gumball your combination, did you?"

"Of course not," Penny said. "There's stuff in there I really don't want him to see."

"Oh?" Carrie leaned in. "Like what?"

"None of your business! We'd better get started on this scavenger hunt or whatever."

"You kidding? Let's just break in."

"What, like guess the combination?"

"No, like _break in_. But first I wanna see whatever's in your locker that you want to hide from Gumball." Carrie started to giggle, and flew through Penny's locker door.

"Hey!" Penny started banging on her locker door. "Carrie, get out of there!"

"Hmm, I wonder what it is…"

"I'm serious, Carrie!" Penny called, starting to enter her combination.

"Ooh, what's this? A notebook buried under your textbooks with hearts all over it?"

"NO!" Penny screeched, fumbling with the lock in her haste. She could feel her body contracting into her rabbit form in her embarrassment. "Don't open that!"

Inside the locker, Carrie erupted into laughter. "Oh, man, you wrote him love poems?! Wow, you two were all _over_ each other!"

Penny finally flung the door open, snatching the notebook away from Carrie and reverting back to her natural form. "I swear, if you utter a _single word_ to _anyone,_ you'll be glad you're already dead!"

"Alright, alright, I won't tell anyone," Carrie said between laughs. "Now gimme a sec, I gotta enlist some help."

With that she teleported away. A few seconds later, Tina Rex barged around the corner. Instinctually, Penny flinched backwards, but Tina just grabbed the locker door in her jaws and ripped it off its hinges, then immediately dropped to the ground as Carrie emerged from her mouth. Carrie tossed Penny her binder, grabbed her pencil case, and started zooming off towards the classroom.

"Isn't Tina gonna be mad?" Penny asked, running alongside her. "That you possessed her?"

"Probably. That's why I'm running."

"Honestly, Carrie! Couldn't you have just phased through the locker and unlatched it from the inside?"

"Shut up!" Carrie said.

"This way!" Penny turned a corner and dodged into an empty classroom. Carrie flew in after her, and Tina barged past them, oblivious.

Penny let out a sigh. "Phew. Now all we have to do is get to class before the—"

She was cut off by the blaring of the tardy bell, causing both her and Carrie to groan.

"—bell rings," she finished lamely.

* * *

"Well," Principal Brown said as the two girls entered detention, "this is awkward."

"Tell me about it," Penny said.

"Stupid Ms. Simian," Carrie muttered. "It's Gumball and Darwin who should be here, not us."

Principal Brown shrugged. "Welp. Stay here and think about what you did for a bit, I'm gonna go get some coffee. Let's see here…"

As the door slammed shut behind him, Penny let out a moan and collapsed onto her desk. "I can't believe this. All over some dumb movie."

"So you admit that this whole thing is dumb, then," Carrie asserted.

"I didn't say that. I said the movie was dumb. Which it was."

"The movie was actually pretty good."

"You wouldn't know pretty good if it phased through your face."

Carrie looked at her. "That was terrible."

Penny groaned. "Shut up. I'm exhausted from all of this."

They lapsed into silence after that, Penny rolling her head side to side over the surface of her desk in boredom. It smelled bad.

"I wish at least Gumball and Darwin would stop," she said. "They're not helping. At all."

"Well, good luck with that. You know those two; they won't stop until they get their way or one of them ends up in the hospital. And that second one's only, like, a fifty fifty on whether they'll actually stop."

"Hmmm…" Penny perked up. "I've got an idea!"

"We put one of them in the hospital and hope we win the coin flip?" Carrie suggested.

"What? No. We put on an act or something to convince them we've made up."

Carrie paused in thought. "I'm sure we can work out a compromise between the two."

* * *

After using their combined abilities to easily escape detention, the two girls waited outside the school building for the final bell of the day.

"This better work," Carrie said. "I don't think I can take much more of this."

"It'll work," Penny said. "I think."

The bell rung, and, instantly, a crowd of students came rushing out of the school doors. When they saw Gumball and Darwin come out, talking quietly amongst themselves, they made their move.

"Oh, Carrie," Penny said, loudly. "I'm so glad the _determined efforts_ of our respective boyfriends have put an end to our long, arduous quarrel."

She saw Gumball's ears perk up, and he whispered something to Darwin, the two of them not-so-subtly listening in on their conversation.

"Yeah," Carrie said. "If it weren't for their _endless persistence and dedication,_ we probably would've kept fighting for, like, eternity, or something."

"Thankfully, they were _successful_ , and there is no more need for their help."

They watched as Gumball and Darwin high-fived, then ran off to get in their father's car.

"Wow, I think that actually worked," said Penny.

Carrie laughed. "Yeah. They're kinda stupid."

"They really are," Penny said, giggling. Suddenly, she stopped, growing straight-faced. "But, uh. We've been kinda stupid, too, I think."

"Yeah," Carrie sighed. "Let's just… forget about it, okay?"

"That sounds good to me."

A pause. "Does this mean their plan actually worked all along?"

Penny made a face. "Ew. No. Let's not think about it that way."

Carrie smiled. "I can live with that."


End file.
